My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
