vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
