Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
