dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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