Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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