my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
