so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
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i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
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if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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