My cat gives me a boner
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
