Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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