Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize