Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I could fuck to npr.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night