idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
