I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.