i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.