Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
