hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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