Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
