Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize