I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
