Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
