thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
