At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
