Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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