if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
