Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't think brook has ever known best
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
