new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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