If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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