i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
