smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's shark week go big or go home
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