My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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