i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We have so much sex to catch up on
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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