I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I love you.
Bad choice
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
