He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
