In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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