if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
