I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There's always time for handjobs
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
