we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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