I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
