he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
