Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
