He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
where are my eyebrows?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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