I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
