seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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