it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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