This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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