Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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