a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
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I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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