Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
