we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
