she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
