If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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