I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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