her vagine was all disorganized.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
