He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize