dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
