wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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